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Biology, Evolution, And Why Marriage Is Nonsense

Posted by on Nov 4, 2014

Shot glass with a pair of wedding rings

 

You spring into a sitting position. Your alarm clock is blaring. You don’t care. Something else is on your mind. Something much more important. You reach for your phone on your night stand only to realize it’s already in your hand. You fell asleep clutching it in a death grip while texting her goodnight. You open your messages and immediately text her; “good morning, beautiful”. You can’t get her off your mind while you’re drinking your coffee. In fact, you begin to picture the two of your drinking coffee together in your country style kitchen, while your son and daughter are getting ready for work, and your Golden Retriever patiently awaits his morning walk. You hop in the shower, and can’t get her out of your mind—when in Rome, right? At work, you’re hardly productive, because you can’t stop staring at your phone. You even find yourself getting pissed off when your message alert goes off and it is anyone other than her. You think she’s moved on. She’s met somebody new! Fuck! Did they already buy a puppy together? Does he like coffee too? BLOOP – there’s a new message. It’s her. PHEW! All is right in the world again. Crisis averted.

This happens every day in some man’s life somewhere. Some girl is on his mind morning, noon and night and the feelings just don’t stop, until one day, they do. When they finally do stop a man has a decision to make. Does he press on, and try to make it work, and force those feelings to come back? Or does he listen to his body, and follow his biology and move on with his life to the next girl?

Big decision. What would you do?

What exactly are those feelings?

Colloquially, we refer to it as the honeymoon stage. Typically it lasts two to six months in the very beginning of a new relationship. According to the article “Falling In Love—The Honeymoon Stage” by Nathalie Himmelrich, who specializes in Relationship Transformation and Grief Support:

The honeymoon stage is where we fall in love. It is the time when you cannot stop thinking about the other person, you want to spend all the time together, you share this intense connection with ‘your soul mate’, you talk about him or her to all your friends, you neglect your friends and family to be with your loved one, you can stay up all night and still have energy the next day, you live with not much food, you are totally attracted to one another with usually high sexual arousal, you find yourself daydreaming about a future together and some even visualize the wedding.

Later in the article Natalie touches upon a key part of the honeymoon stage that I was afraid she wouldn’t. She says, “Biologically it is linked with the time needed for a couple to procreate and conceive a child…the honeymoon period is designed to keep the human race alive.”

BINGO! There it is. Those two sentences make up the most important thing to understand about the so-called honeymoon stage. The honeymoon stage is not about the modern invention of “love”. It is a biologically necessary component to what is the solitary reason that humans exist on this earth; to make more humans!

Human societies and monogamy

Monogamy is a fairly new concept within the human timeline. From the earliest of human ancestors all the way up to modern human society, monogamy is, believe it or not, very rare.

Ardipithicus, one of the earliest ancestors of humans were highly promiscuous, according to a 2010 study from the University of Liverpool. The study reveals research that talks about the correlation between finger length and promiscuity.

Joseph Henrich, Robert Boyd and Peter J. Richerson stated in their article “The Puzzle of Monogamous Marriage” that 85% of societies in the Anthropological record are polygamous. This includes current world societies.

Approximately 85 per cent of societies in the anthropological record permit men to marry multiple wives. Taking wives is always positively associated with status, wealth or nobility, even among highly egalitarian foraging societies. After the origins of agriculture, as human societies grew in size, complexity and inequality, levels of polygamous marriage intensified, reaching extremes in the earliest empires whose rulers assembled immense harems.

The researchers go on to discuss sexual competition, which is the biological foundation of the human race. A male shows a female that he is more suitable for mating than that other guy. In essence, the sole reason for male existence is to fuck as many women as possible, and create as many mini-me’s as he can. Once a male meets a female that he wants to mate with, he uses the honeymoon period to drop his seed, and then move on to compete for the next ovulating female.

Emma Nelson of the University of Liverpool’s School of Anthropology, Classics and Egyptology says that this is an “exciting new way of understanding how our social behavior has evolved”. I have to ask – is it really evolution? Real, true biological evolution, or is it a man-made invention?

Scientists have yet to identify a hormone that flares up when a male is exposed to only one female. Adam Benton of EvoAnth points out that vasopressin, oxytocin, testosterone and serotonin all flare up when a male is around a female that he likes, but they flare up around any female he likes. Not just one.

Serotonin, for example, is also linked with food consumption yet you can enjoy two dishes. Oxytocin is also associated with breast feeding yet a mother can love two children. There’s no need to limit these chemicals to only allowing monogamous relationships.

What’s monogamy really all about?

Alright, so I’ve done the responsible thing when writing an article. I’ve presented science, and fact based research. Now, it’s time to get down to the real nitty-gritty. The complete and total opinion based, science-has-nothing-to-do-with-this conclusion!

Are men supposed to be with only one woman for all eternity? The answer is plain and simple! Hell no!

Once the honeymoon stage ends, and a man and woman decide to keep it going, and work hard at making the relationship last, something happens. And no, it’s not love! If there was really such a thing as true love in a non-biological relationship then every single day, from the very beginning of a relationship all the way up to the dying days of a 60 years marriage a man would be driving to work in tears just knowing that he was going to be away from his wife. He would leave work a little early each day thinking “Oh boy, I hope she’s home! Please just let her be home!” Instead, most husbands are driving home hoping his wife is stuck in traffic, or hoping she’s out with the kids so he can for once in his miserable life take his after-work-shit in peace!

Marriage is not natural. It makes no sense biologically, and it goes against everything evolution or God, whichever is your belief of choice intended. Marriage is exciting in the beginning, because biologically, we have no other choice but to be excited. But, after the excitement dies it just turns into a habitual relationship that most people won’t get out if because, well, they are used to it. Yuck!

 

Photo credit to Morguefile.com

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DK

DK is a born and raised Philadelphian. Creator of the 2gentlemenreview.com. Lover of cigars, Hamm's beer, the Flyers and Phillies. DK is an amateur Rock’N’Roll historian with a focus on early rhythm and blues and 1950’s vocal groups. When he grows up, he wants to be a writer.

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