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Online Dating: Will We All Eventually Find Love Online?

Posted by on Jan 3, 2014

Recently, after a long night of cigar smoking and rum drinking, I had a very insightful conversation with a good friend. We talked about the world of online dating. See, I had always viewed online dating the same way that many people do, as an avenue for three groups of people; weirdoes, the socially awkward, and Christian widows. That was until my friend, who is as normal as they come, told me he’s done it, and he’s had success with it.

After getting more information, I came up with the idea for this article. I decided to make an online dating profile to see what it’s all about. I had no intentions of ever actually meeting anyone that I connected with on the site. This was just for un-scientific research to decide for myself whether online dating really is a place for the world’s un-dateable, or if it’s the way of the future.

Making a Profile

GcontestAfter you choose the dating website that’s best for you, you have to create a profile. I wasn’t sure if I should make a fake profile with Gino’s picture, or make a real one with my own. Wanting the best possible results, and hoping to attract the best looking girls, I decided to go with my picture and real information.

I loaded a couple of pictures, and filled out the “about me” section. I decided that the most important things about me and the details that I would want a potential match to know so as not to waste anyone’s time needed to be stated upfront. Anything that you think might be a deal breaker for your matches should be stated in the beginning.

Once your profile is setup, and you’ve got your most flattering pictures uploaded you can start browsing!

Browsing and Sending a Message

I’ve got to be honest, looking through pictures of girls and reading their profiles was very weird in the beginning. I felt like a creep, but quickly realized that these chicks are doing the same thing to me, and after that realization, it became fun.

If you happen to come across a young lady that you find attractive based on her pictures, go ahead and read her profile. If you don’t have the urge knock over your computer after reading the first paragraph (I wanted to do that a lot) then send her a message. I was hesitant about sending someone a message at first, but knew that if I didn’t then I am just a guy sitting at his computer at two in the morning looking at pictures of girls and reading about their lives, and that my friends, is creepy.

The whole point of joining an online dating site is to meet someone, and just like at a bar, you’re not going to get the number of the pretty girl if you just stare at her all night. You’ve got buy her a drink, and say hello. Well, sending a message on a dating site is the virtual way of sending a young lady a chocolatetini.

Sending a Message

This is where it gets tricky. What do you say in a first message? Well, think of it this way; what would you say to a young lady in person? I doubt you would walk up to her and say just one word – “Hi” – and I doubt that you would recite to her the first two chapters in your in-progress autobiography. When sending a message online, you’ve got to be short and to-the-point – but not too short.

I sent many messages to many girls, and for the sake of research, I tried it all! Here’s what I found out:

Hi, hey, what’s up, yo: You’ll be ignored.

Hey sexy, what’s up cutie, nice pictures, damn!: You’ll be ignored, or you’ll get one response from a really cute young lady simply saying, “grow up”. Yes, that happened.

Hi, I’m DK. I’ve lived in Philly all my life. Went to grade school and high school in the Northeast, and then college at Saint Joe’s. I’m currently working in banking and finance. I love cigars, spending time with family and friends, and music. I also – OH MY GOD, SHUT UP!!!!!! Dude, that’s what your profile is for. If she reads it, she’ll know all of that.

The nicest replies that I received came when I sent a message similar to this:

How’s it going? I saw in your profile that you’ve got two dogs. I can tell they are important to you.  I’ve got a German Shepherd myself. Couldn’t imagine my house without him. Anyway, I’m new to online dating, and still trying to figure it all out. Saw your profile and thought I’d say hi. Hope to hear from you. DK

My message shows her that I’ve actually read her profile, and didn’t just look at her pictures. It establishes that we’ve got something in common. Something that is important to both of us. It’s specific, yet I don’t ask her any questions that might turn her off. It’s a harmless message, and that’s what girls online are looking for – harmless.

Beware of…

I would say that though most of the profiles on these sites are legit; there are still a lot of fakes out there. Here are some observations that I’ve made:

  • If she only has one picture posted, she’s not real.
  • If she has a bunch of pictures posted, and they are all group pictures, she’s not one of the good looking ones.
  • If she looks slightly different in each of her pictures, they are probably different people in each picture, and she’s not real.
  • If she is wearing a bra and panties in every picture, she’s not a hot girl who only wants sex. She’s a bot.
  • If none of her pictures are straight on, she’s probably not that good looking.
  • If she is making duck face or giving the peace sign, she’s in high school.
  • If all of her pictures are selfies, she’s weird. Normal people have some pictures taken by other people.
  • If all of her pictures are from the shoulders up, stay away. What is she hiding?
  • If a girl has no profile filled out, she’s a bot.
  • If a girl has way too much info in her profile, she’s probably real, but keep your distance. She probably doesn’t shut up in person.


The Two Best Messages I Received

Grow up!In response to me saying “Hey sexy!”

Hey! Are you into casual sex? It doesn’t say so in your profile.Why, yes. Yes I am, but not with you. (She was scary looking).


I spent about two weeks on online dating sites, and I’ve got to say that I was right about what I originally thought. I was also very wrong. Allow me to explain.

It’s clear that a lot of the people who join these sites do so because they really do need help meeting people. Maybe they are way too shy to approach someone in person. Maybe they’re insecure about their looks. Maybe they are just not the type of person who strikes up conversations with strangers, but are otherwise totally normal members of society. Also, if I’m to believe what people write in their profiles, there are a lot of people who join because they are new to a certain city, and haven’t settled in fully, and are looking to meet people. Perhaps they work a lot, and truly don’t have time to go out. The fact it, online dating is not just for weirdoes.

I personally deleted my profiles, because it’s just not for me. I’m a very social person, and I love meeting people and talking to people. I also like a challenge, and really, guys, what’s more of a challenge that approaching a girl for the first time? It’s scary, exciting and fun. I would rather meet someone in person first. That’s not to say, however, that if I find myself striking out a lot and want to meet someone that I won’t reactivate my profile. You never know.

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DK is a born and raised Philadelphian. Creator of the 2gentlemenreview.com. Lover of cigars, Hamm's beer, the Flyers and Phillies. DK is an amateur Rock’N’Roll historian with a focus on early rhythm and blues and 1950’s vocal groups. When he grows up, he wants to be a writer.

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  1. Classic piece DK. I have one question. In the following sentence:

    “If she is wearing a bra and panties in every picture, she’s not a hot girl who only wants sex. She’s a bot”.

    Is the last word a typo? I was thinking it should be “both” not “a bot”…lol

    • Thank you, sir.

      If you weren’t a happily married man, Rob, I’d say make a profile and find out!

  2. Nice read for the single and chasing. As I am happily married as well I will be forwarding this to some of my buds. Rob do watch out for those Bots… They will get you hooked if you do peak!!

  3. Thanks for passing it along.

    Bots are dangerous.

  4. “I wasn’t sure if I should make a fake profile with Gino’s picture, or make a real one with my own. Wanting the best possible results, and hoping to attract the best looking girls, I decided to go with my picture and real information.”

    Hahahahahaha! That is genius!

  5. The guy in the pink pants is hot

  6. Love this wrote up and I’ve actually lived it so to speak. My wife and I found each other in a chat room on AOL back in the mid 90’s… I wasn’t looking at the time but this west coast girl named Lori sent me an IM and we struck up a convo and eventually exchanged numbers. The rest is history.. Great piece btw!

    • Brian, I never knew that about you and Lori. That’s awesome.

      Question for you, if you don’t mind..

      Since you and Lori meet so early on in the internet world was it difficult for you two to be honest with your family’s about how you met?

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